Talk:Heat Stroke
Raja Stivy peer review
[edit]I have found a lot of good usable information in these sections. I think you did well adding more epidemiology to different types of heat stroke. Another think I thought you did well was distribute the amount of information in each category so they all are close to equal. A couple of things you could look at adding or changing would be in classical heat stroke you have some epidemiology on the United States and Saudi Arabia, what if you could gather some of the same statistics to make a comparison of the two countries? Another thing that would be interesting in the exertional heat stroke section would be to find differences and comparisons among a sport such as football that you already mention, but looking at the age groups, such as youth football, high school football, collegiate football, pro football? Overall, I do think you added some good resources and a decent amount of information on epidemiology for heat stroke. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Raja Stivy (talk • contribs) 18:29, 15 November 2017 (UTC)
Tyler Cheney (Byaliy Group) Peer Review
[edit]I think overall you're bringing a lot of valuable and useful information to the topic of Heat Stroke! I'm just going to annotate things that I see or that I think you could add in the order that it would be read. You might want to reword your first sentence to say something more along the lines of attention to prevention of heat illness first started, because I'm sure people have been dying of heat stroke for a long time but I'm guessing it wasn't highly public knowledge until the time you're reporting. Also you should source this. I like how you talked about heat waves as I, and I'm sure a lot of people, generally associate heat stroke with sport or work not natural events. I like the way you formatted the flow of your statistics section, highly informational. Need a source on the second sentence starting "Of the 10,649 deaths [...]". Quick formatting note: I notice you have a double enter between Classical and Exertional Heat stroke but not the other topics. In the first sentence of Classical HS I believe you need commas around, "Also known as non-exertional heat stroke" as well as oxford comma between CV illness and thermoregulatory. You might want to add references for a few of the statistics in this section as well some have references attached but some don't. And just make sure to replace your notes for citation in the Exertional heat stroke section. After review I think your article has a really good grasp on what needs to be displayed. I think that if I was an uneducated individual in heat stroke that this article would be perfect as it's not too "over-my-head" but it also isn't in the most simplistic form possible either. Awesome work, keep it up.